How to Deal with Jerks Like A Gentleman DOs & DON'Ts

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Gentleman's Gazette


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The weird thing is that being a jerk is sometimes correlated to being successful. For example, Steve Jobs was a bonafide jerk yet he was very successful. So just because you're a jerk doesn't mean you're automatically successful. Often, it's the opposite and in today's video, we show you how you can deal with jerks without going down to their level.

In a nutshell, jerks are stubborn, they're just full of themselves, they just care about themselves, they're not open to criticism or change, and they're just about winning, putting others down, and getting ahead in life no matter the cost.

The first strategy in dealing with jerks is to make sure you're not one yourself.

So once you've decided you're not a jerk, the first step to dealing with jerks is to take action. Simply accepting behavior of jerks or just letting it go is not going to make the situation better or resolve anything.

First of all, you have to determine what kind of jerk you're dealing with; is it a clueless jerk who doesn't know he's a jerk or is it an unrepentant jerk who knows what they do is wrong but they just don't care.

Dealing with a clueless jerk is easy because they actually might mean well and they simply just don't know about it. The best way to deal with it is to take that person aside in a private moment and address the issue. A clueless jerk will likely apologize, be sorry about it, and promise to change. It's important to focus on their behavior, not them as a person, otherwise, they're likely to shut down and not take any of your criticism.

Second, it's great to have a remedy in mind and not just throw something out there and expect them to come up with a solution. Again, don't tell people what they should or should not do.

Now if you've done that and the behavior doesn't change, you deal with an unrepentant jerk. Unfortunately, there's not a cooking recipe to deal with those kinds of jerks, however, chances are they're not likely or easily going to change.

The next step means it's time to change for you. You either have to quit, transfer to a different department, or maybe end the relationship because if you address their behavior directly with your superior, chances are they're gonna retaliate against you and make your life even worse. Now, if the power dynamics are equal and it's someone like a friend, a sibling, or a colleague, you are at the same level, you have a few different options.

The one is to simply shun them, ignore them, exclude them from events, and have a certain icy politeness but you're clear that you don't want to have anything to do with them, you don't want to listen to them, and you don't want to be around them.

Another option would be to fight fire with fire. Now, this is very risky because a jerk will drag you down to their level and beat you there with experience.

Now, one thing that works no matter what the power dynamics are is to not give a ****, however, that's the most difficult one and it often requires a lot of good acting and self-discipline but ultimately, if you can show people that you don't care either about their behavior or about them, it makes them maybe angry or rethink their behavior simply because a jerk wants attention and if you don't give them attention and if you don't give them gratification, they may deflate and maybe they'll move on and you can stay where you are.

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