TSL – “Careless Whisper” Guilty feet have got no Rhythm
Tonight, It’s the Adventure of “Apology & Forgiveness”. Let’s trust that tonight’s show provides some insight into letting go of more baggage.
George Michael makes it as plain as day that the “Careless Whispers” of a good friend can have devastating consequences.
“I should have known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I’d been given”
Think of it, any instance of betrayal of trust leaves a mark on our hearts and minds. Some wash out, some are indelible. You and you alone make that call.
Some quotes:
Apology
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got.” (Robert Brault) (HOW TRUE!)
“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” (Kimberly Johnson)
An apology is not necessarily an acknowledgment of wrong-doing. An apology is subjective. It’s a value judgment of how much another person means to you and how much importance you place on this relationship.
What did we do wrong? Sometimes we are totally in the dark. Who cares! Another person’s hurt is their hurt, their truth and you are not going to change that.
Do we have different strategies for when we know the reason for our apology from when we are doing so to specifically calm the waters?
Can the panel or chat recall any specific instances where they have offered or received meaningful, unconditional and sincere apologies?
Apology you offer, forgiveness you grant.
Forgiveness
“The stupid neither forgive or forget. The naïve forgive and forget. The wise forgive but they do not forget.” (Thomas Szasz)
“Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future.” (Paul Lewis Boese)
“Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.” (Anonymous)
There’s a lot in those 3 quotes. Forgive but remember, think of the big picture, give some power away.
To restate, Apology is not dependent on wrong-doing, whereas Forgiveness requires recognition of a wrong in the first place. Make sense?
Can the panel or chat recall any specific instances where they have offered or received meaningful, unconditional and sincere forgiveness?
Can anyone give examples of how apology and forgiveness might work together? If not try these to start:
Case 1. I visit the takeaway to get dinner for my partner and myself. He/She orders Laksa and I order Pad Thai. They have no Laksa so I just come home with a meal for myself and nothing for my partner. Thoughtless? Apology? Forgiveness? What might I do differently next time?
Case 2. I have an extra-relationship encounter with my neighbor. Do I front up, apologize and seek forgiveness? Do I front up, apologies and just accept what comes next, no seeking, just laying it open? Do “guilty feet have no rhythm” regardless of whether I speak up or say nothing?
Does an Apology require Forgiveness? Does Forgiveness require an Apology? What’s the Biblical approach? What’s the Non-Biblical approach?
To finish from last week, do YOU offer forgiveness to a person who disrupts a chat session for whatever reason? At what point do you remove such person from the chat equation? Does anyone have an alternate strategy to blocking or indulgence?
We have a choice. Rip ourselves apart by holding our hurt, anger and disappointment within OR go out on a limb. Trust yourself, implicitly is the way.
Only then can one give Apology and Forgiveness a chance!
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